| Leavin on a Jet Plane |
[Sep. 12th, 2007|04:09 pm] |
Long time, huh?
So, for all who don't know, I'm movin' on up in the world of Bubba Gump's. Friday I leave to go to Denver to open up a new store there. Should be a lot of fun, and I should get a lot of good experience there.
I've got to admit, I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing. New Orleans is somewhat of the bastard son in the Bubba Gump's family. I don't know exactly how I'll be received by my fellow employees and by the people in charge. I really need to make a good impression, both for myself and for my restaurant. I'm happy for the opportunity, and hopefully I'll kick ass.
Deff. looking forward to the trip, if nothing else, then for the beer. There is soooo much good beer in Denver. I've met a couple people who live in Denver and they say they'll show me around and we can go to a couple breweries, so that should be good.
Anyways, that's about all I got now. Call me if you want to catch up. |
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| Throwdown!!! |
[Jul. 11th, 2007|01:17 pm] |
So, I've heard a lot of talk about a certain someone out there who thinks they know a little something about a certain game that uses a certain guitar shaped controller. As there are 2 people who read this livejournal and whereas Ryan has about as much rythym as 2 lobotomized three legged guines pigs trying to get it on, well there could only be one other person that I could be talking about.
Now, I know that it may be intimidating, and yes I know you might be scared, but it's times like this when ya just got to man up there Tom-o. So, I challenge you Mr. Gore to some hardcore guitar heroing. And then maybe we should hang out...because I'm going to be in NC next week...and I'd like to catch up...maybe go see a movie...or play cards. Right. That's all. |
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| I have seen the end... |
[Feb. 13th, 2007|10:29 pm] |
..and there is beer and gin bucket curtesy of Jason Tally.
So a tornado touched down about 3-4 blocks from my apartment the other night. I had awoken at 3 AM to find the power had gone out, but thought nothing of it untill the next day at about 10 AM when there is still no power and for some reason the neighbors upstairs are drunk. Now school is still in session for Tulane students, so you can imagine my surprise, and annoyance with this unwanted noise.
So get up, no lights, shower in the dark, get ready to go into Bubba's to do work, go outside and see way to many people drinking.
This is when I learned of said tornado. School got canceled, and all the bars started liquidating their beer coolers, because they were no longer keeping the beer cold. Surreal is the only word I can think of to describe this scene. I don't think I've ever seen so much random partying. Everyone was out on their front lawns with alcohol, drinking and laughing and having a great time on a beautiful day. I guess that's what the beginning of the end of the world will be light. I hope the four horsemen like Abita. |
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| Speaking of Black People |
[Feb. 6th, 2007|03:33 am] |
A conversation I had earlier today:
"..you know, George Washington Carver. He did that thing with all of those peanuts. Or was that Booker T. Washington."
"No, I think he was a writer or something."
"No, you're thinking of Langston Hughes."
"You mean Michael Jordan."
"Shut up Noah."
Happy Black History month everyone. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 31st, 2006|05:38 pm] |
www.nola.com
Yes, that's my bar. Yes I was there last night. Needless to say, I'm not exactly stable at the moment. |
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| I'm Looking at Pussy on my Computer... |
[Oct. 25th, 2006|01:30 am] |
And that pussy is of course Iris the cat. Big round of applause for the furball!!! (**Thunderous adulations**)
So, another week when I get to look into my wallet and say "Hey, where'd da money go?" At the rate that I blowing money, I might have to skip Christmas. Just kidding. Still a month away. Speaking, of the big C, headin' up to Norf Cackolackey around that time. Looking to get about 10 days off. I'm not really sure if I wanted more time or not, but I feel that that is the best that I can do. So for all you vagrants and whores way up North, if you want to see me come December, heed that offer is only valid while supplies lasts.
Now, on with the whining. Been in a funk lately, big surprise to all of my loyal readers, I'm sure. Talked about it with a couple people, and with my cat, and sometimes with myself, and you know...maybe I'm just starting to lose it all over again. Where is my mind? And why the hell haven't the Pixies done anything of import in the last like 6 months. Bah. Anyways, I'm cool, but I just need to keep myself busy. I've been working a lot. A LOT. But that's mainly to get away from the empty shell that is called my apartment, and perhaps to avoid the distatefulness of all that entails life by the university.
I am not a college kid. One more time now. I am not a college kid. Hell, I don't even know what that is for, but I feel it necessary to shout every now and then. I AM NOT A COLLEGE KID!!! Maybe one day I will be again, but even then I don't really think I'll possess the same mentality as what is considered typical of a "college kid". Surprisingly I don't like going to bars to try and get laid. And parties of thousands of sweaty freshmen really aren't that appealing. And you know what else, I am absolutely sick and tired of people telling me how easy my life must be compared to their hellish mid-term cram week. Boo fucking hoo.
I'm not saying that I feel superior in my great and mighty, world weathered, streetwise, service industry lifestyle. I just am tired of being made to feel inferior. Hell I might go back to school someday, but I can't really see what I can get out of it. Not now. Maybe next week I'll have changed my tune, but for now, fuck it, let's go bowling.
What else, what else, what else...So, Olga is dating Curtis. Fun fun. More rejection. I guess that's unfair. Technically he was there first, but you know what I feel like I should be selfish here. How the hell am I supposed to rebound if I keep getting rejected by these girls? Yes, that's girls as in plural. I have sufficiently whittled my dating pool down to a frighteningly slight few. I'm on the brink of just giving up on all of it. Throwing in the towel. Celibacy. Perhaps I'll just become gay. I know a lot more gay men then single straight women. Yeah, I know, first of three conversations (bonus points for who gets the reference).
Anywhoodle, not much else going on. Going to the Decemberist show on Thurs. VIP tickets to VooDoo fest on Sat. Halloween around the corner, but no plans as of yet. If I work, which is most probable, I'm going to dress as a Hard Rock Cafe employee. The irony here being that I work at Bubba Gump's and Hard Rock is across the street and perhaps are largest competitor. That and I hate those mother fuckers. It's irony. Look it up.
Besides all of that, I've been working on a screenplay. I have no idea how to write a screenplay and have never written an extensive amount of dialogue, ao in all it sucks so far, but then again it's a zombie flick, so it's ok if it's terrible. See how that works? I'm creative. And an alcoholic. But that's tangential.
So is the fact that Tower Records is closing. Not just the one on Decatut, but all Tower Records across the globe. Sucks for them. And me. No place to get new music from now. One of the deepest joys in my life is killing a couple hours in a record shop. Looking for music, making lists of possible purchases, narrowing it down, scrapping the thing, walking out with nothing. Love it. As a gift to myself I decided to round off my record collection as much as Tower records could accomodate. Dropped a bill, but I was looking to spend about 250. In other words their inventory sucks. Oh well. Replaced my copy of M83's "Dead Cities, Red Seas, and Lost Ghosts" with a remastered import. It's awesome. Also got Boy Least Likely To, some Explosions in the Sky, Rilo Kiley, and Boris. Other stuff not mentioning of course. Not porn. I swear on top of a stack of sticky magazines.
In closing, a long post that only few will read. To those I bid you thanks. Perhaps there are some who really do care about me.....that still use livejournal. Ha!! A closing thought. The other day I put on the best selection of music at Club D on their internet jukebox. Probably like 20 songs. This may have been a first, but I really think that the other people there enjoyed what I put on. Non-verbal hints here. People singing along. This one girl was actually dancing. And more than once I could just make out across the bar someone saying to their friend: "I like this. Do you know who it is?" It's a weird feeling. I've always thought of talent as being something ou can share with other people to get a reaction out of them; to excite them, arouse them, make them happy, at least for a moment. Maybe I have my little talents after all.
Sweet Dreams all you Cats and Kittens. |
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| Just Wondering... |
[Sep. 19th, 2006|01:14 am] |
What was the last truly spontaneous thing you did? No one in particular that I'm talking to here. Just a thought more than anything else.
I guess I kind of feel as though I should be living my life more spontaneously. Sometimes I just feel so damned overwelmed by shit that I want to do something crazy, something absurd and unjustified. I want to walk into a classroom and scream at the top of my lungs and laugh at the faces that people make. I want to burn all of my old clothes. I want to run untill I can't run anymore and collapse and sleep where I fall. It really builds up in you sometimes, but where/how do you vent it?
Today I was listening to Radiohead's "OK Computer" and I felt that way. I turned the music as loud as I could and I sang along and danced. It was easy because no one was around, but it still felt good. I was happy and that just made it so much easier to do what I had to do today.
Oh well. Just a thought for those few tattered vagrants who still happen across this lonely rambling. Peace, love, cream cheese. |
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| I Wish I Were a Fish... |
[Sep. 17th, 2006|01:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | 918.5 Audubon St. | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | Sane as Sane can be | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Magnolia Elec. Co. - Tigress | ] |
So, long time no update, right? Well, In short, all the usual excuses: work, drinking, general laziness.
I've come to several conclusions over the past couple of months. First and foremost, I hate summer. In the past three years I haven't even had what could remotely be considered a "good summer". This one was perhaps the worst out of the three in many ways; I'm still having problems dealing with the events that transpired.
The real problem is that I've been conditioned to believe that summer is a time for opportunity and fresh starts. Summertime is supposed to be the time when I get to hang out with my friends who have been too busy at school, the time when I get to have a vacation, the time when I can relax. Crawfish is in season and beer tastes better in devastating NOLA heat. But it never seems to work out that way...
Instead, I end up seeing less of most of the people I'd like to see, I work the same that I do all year long (if not more), and I run an emotional gauntlet that leaves me feeling empty and lost and confused and stupid. Extrememly fucking stupid.
How long am I going to keep making the wrong decisions in life? Or was it really just one bad decision and all of this is a consequence of something else? I honestly don't know and am getting completely fed up because absolutely NOTHING works out for me in the end. Sometimes it's close, but not quite there. Other times it's just flat out wrong. It used to make me angry. Really, really angry. Now it just makes me tired.
Oh fucking well. It's about time that I really started to accept some of this blame for myself, I guess. I consistantly leave myself vulnerable by placing too much faith in things that aren't going to workout. I need to be realistic and I need to be honest with myself. But where do I go from here? What the hell am I supposed to do now? I wish someone would tell me.
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Good things that make me happy:
Movies at Canal Place - Yes, pretentious indy movies and what have you. Actually the location of the theatre is convenient for me. If I really have to get out of my appartment, I can always catch a matinee. It's a great way to kill a couple hours. Recently I've seen "Little Miss Sunshine" and "The Illusionist", both excellent films. LMS made me laugh and then want to cry. Great acting, especially Steve Carrell. The Illsuionist had both Edward Norton and Paul Giamatti in it. It was a solid film with very strong acting, but perhaps lacking in direction. The flashback scenes look amateur, and the ending being so completely obvious really doesn't need to be as detailed as it is. Kind of short, too.
Music - I got my CD's back from Joe!!! If you don't know why Joe Roach was in possession of my CD's for the better part of a year, then ask me sometime and I'll tell you. I really had no idea how much I missed my music. I love the fact that however I'm feeling or whatever I'm doing, I can always find the music that best suits me. And now I've got an urge to hear so much more. I bought an album by a band called The Thermals and love it. Deff. a post punk sound. Angry but intelligent. Restrained at some points. Really captures a fed up mentality.
Beer - Oh beer. My best friend. Actually, I've been trying to learn more about beer from this guy Steve at Club D. He knows more about beer then anybody I've ever met before, and he's a really cool guy. He's having a tasting and party at his place in a month and he invited me. Should be a lot of fun. It's nice to get out of the uptown area. Thinking that when Derek leaves I want to move to a bigger place closer downtown. I would of course need to convince Noah of this. We'll see what happens come May.
Work - Contrary to what people may say, I really like my job. It's hard sometimes and frustrating at times, but not nearly as hard or frustrating as the majority of my life. Working at Bubba's is really my escape. It's a place that I'm completely comfortable at. I like the people there and I like bartending. Plus, the money is good.
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Well, that's about all I'm going to say now. Kind of a rant. Thanks for whoever reads this. Please comment. Feedback. Oh, and if Amanda reads this, I lost your number. Sorry. Just leave it as a comment and I'll call you. |
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| Does that Make me a Bad Person? |
[Jun. 11th, 2006|08:26 pm] |
So as I was walking down Canal St. to catch a cab after work today, I got stopped by a couple of young drunk individuals in search of the French Quarter. The first thing that came to my mind was the truth: that they were already in the French Quarter. Interestingly enough what came out of my mouth was something like: sure, go up St. Charles untill you see the big sign that says French Quarter. Can't miss it.
When did I become such an asshole? |
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| So, It Is Possible To Be A Winner |
[May. 22nd, 2006|01:16 pm] |
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Woohoo!!! I won, I won. Entered a fifty dollar poker tournament on Saturday and placed third. Five hundred dollar prize. I guess I can make rent this month. |
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| A Couple Hours Before Work... |
[Apr. 23rd, 2006|02:27 pm] |
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What's up all of you sad lonely souls and sexual deviants. I know, it's been awhile, but hell I'm a busy guy and I don't have steady internet access. A quick aside, the enter key on this computer is busted, so this entry is going to appear as one large paragraph. Anyways, I want to blame my lack of contact with the outside world on my schedule and whatnot, but in truth that may not be the case. I've sat down several times in the past couple of months and have tried to write an update of substance, and really didn't know where to start or what to say. A lot of changes have occured in my life and I'm happy with what's going on. That may be hard to believe for all of those out there who are under the impression that New Orleans is a flooded ghost town, but it's the truth. Too many people spend there lives looking for someplace to go, and most of the time they end up giving up and settling for someplace where they can be comfortable. Comfortability is not happiness. I'm lucky to have found a place where I truely am happy. I don't know if the rest of you have ever had really good crawfish before, but last Thursday, me and a bartender from Club D went and got 10 pounds of those delicious bugs and a case o' beer. We went to his place, sat on the porch, and for the next 4-5 hours, we ate and talked and watched Eddie Izzard stand-up. It's one of the better days that I've spent, and I think it serves to define my current mood. I'm happy, yet anxious. I know there's things I need to do, and I know I can't remain in this station of my life, but I guess all that other stuff can come in good time. Right now, I'm just happy with crawfish. On a couple other notes, I've been reading a lot lately, or as much as I can in between working and sleeping. I've finished two novels by Gabrielle Garcia Marquez, and both "Love in the Time of Cholera" and "100 Years of Solitude" were excellent. "100 Years of Solitude" specifically may have been one of the greatest things that I have ever read. It's slow at times, but the ultimate payoff of the last 5 pages is just breathtaking. Also read Tom Robbins "Still Life With Woodpecker". Didn't see what the big deal was. A couple excellent movies: "Slither" and "Thank You for Smoking" were both hilarious!!!! And how could I forget...GUITAR HERO IS HERE!!! That video game is so much freakin' fun. Oh well. So that's my big long paragraph entry. Hope someone reads it. Later cats and kittens. |
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| 2 Days Untill... |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|11:58 pm] |
Rigth-o. So hereonforth I cancel my before set plans. Apparently nobody is going to be available to hang out on either Friday or Saturday. Hrm. I've got to say it's disheartening.
So I guess the big bash just ain't going to happen. I'm going to play it by ear. Me and Del will probably be going out. My brother promised me brunch at Brennenan's but something tells me that's not going to happen either.
Anywho, if you would like to see me or grab a bite to eat or a drink or something, I guess I'm just going to be taking it easy this weekend. |
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| 3 Days Untill |
[Mar. 22nd, 2006|10:44 am] |
Hello everyobody. Long time no update.
So, the big two-one is finally approaching. I guess I'm getting excited enough, but there's a part of me that thinks that perhaps I'm building this whole thing up in my mind. I mean, what am I going to do for my 21st, go out and drink? Meh.
I'm thinking dinner with some friends and just hanging out afterwards. No big deal, really. So, I guess this is the invite to whomever might want to come out. Jacque Imo's on Friday, let's say 7PM(?). If there's an overwelming amount of people who this is not good for, just let me know and maybe we could try another time. |
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| It May Not Be Much, But God Knows It Feels Like Home |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|11:38 pm] |
So here I am, back in the good old city of sin. Del and her mom came to pick me up on their way down. I ended up driving all of but about an hour of the drive down to New Orleans. Not complaining at all, I rather enjoyed the long drive. It was kathartic to say the least. That and I got to spend ample time with Del who I hadn't seen for months. You never really know how much you've missed someone untill you get to see them again.
My intial impressions of New Orleans were not surprisingly that of shock. There's no real medium between the way people have described what I could expect to find. Those small minded individuals that only know how to quote the headlines from CNN have for months painted portraits of utter devastation for me. Yeah, interestingly enough Lake Ponchatrain was not full of blood and the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse didn't card me at Bruno's. Then again, I think some people misled me to think that perhaps everything would in fact be alright and just as it was when I had left last spring.
The first thing that really got to me and has made the biggest impression on me was actually about the last 45 minutes into the city. I-10 cuts right through east New Orleans. It's a densely populated lower class suberb. It absolutely horrified me to see it almost completely empty. There were no lights, there were no people. It was like a ghost town.
Everything else, really doesn't compare to that initial impression. There are maybe 10 neighbors around my appartment where there should be about 100. There's almost no trace of families. The streets are filled with the trash of gutted buildings. Military hummers run patrols every so often.
It's amazing, that as sad and empty and nostaglic as these things can make one feel, it only took the embrace from my friend/roomate Noah to make me realize that all of that didn't really matter. Within the first hour of getting back to NOLA, I got to see everyone that I've missed so much. It would be hard to think of a time that I've ever been happier.
Anyways, I'm ranting, I know. I'm just putting it out there for those who perhaps don't know, or would care to know that I am not doing fine, I'm doing amazingly. My life for the next year or so is going to be very hard. I plan to work full time, volunteer in my spare time, hopefully start school by the fall, and make as many wonderful memories with my friends as I can. Oh well. I'm grinning as I write this. Now it's time for bed. Kafkaesque dreams for everyone. Night you cats and kittens. |
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| So Long Queen City |
[Jan. 6th, 2006|01:34 pm] |
So, I put it off, I jest, I bother both Brian and my Girlfriend, but finally through extensive efforts mainly on Del's part, I have a date at which I will be leaving Norf Cackolacky (stress on the lacky).
I'd like to say that I feel bad about leaving, that they'll be some particular thing that I will miss about this place when I leave, but in truth there isn't.
I will miss my brother and my family, and I feel as though these past couple of months have been good towards those relationships. I'm going to miss my job, too. I'm amazed at how cool the people at Barnes and Noble turned out to be. I had a great time going to Karaoke on Wed. nights with my boss Julie and co-worker Dustin. Good times.
Well, I guess that's about it. I depart on the 12th. If you want to see me before then, my schedule is open after Sat. And of course, open invitation to all of my friends here to come and see me in NOLA. I may not be able to offer much, but I can offer a couch a good time. I know that Travis has to come and see me so that we can start our professional poker playing careers.
Peace. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2005|09:33 pm] |
A friend of mine from high school passed away on Christmas Eve. Her name was Leigh Lane. She was bright and cheerful and just a wonderful person with limitless potential. We weren't tremendously close, but we had had a lot of classes together. She was someone I probably should have stayed in touch with. Now I can only regret that I didn't.
It's been awhile since I cried so hard, and it's been awhile since I've prayed. The next couple of nights, I think I'll do a lot of both.
God bless you Leigh Lane. |
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| Answers and Awards... |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|12:02 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | The Gummy Bears Theme Song | ] |
Here are the answers to the questions about me that no one got:
6) Sick Bag
8) A can of Miller Lite and a Ashton Maduro #40
15) Muses
19) Orange Jubilee, Strawberries and Cream, Bling Bling Blue Raspberry
20) A 32 of Miller High Life and a 40 of St. Ives
22) Either a B-52 or Bourbon with a splash of Soda Water
24) Jasmine/Rose
25) HALLOWEEN!!!
27) Me-Jack of Clubs, Brad-Ace of Spades, Scott-King of Diamonds, Jason-Queen of Hearts
28) '97 Berringer Private Reserve
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Good job to all participants!!! Prizes are as follow:
The Bronze Medal goes to Derek Wagner with a total of 8 points. Derek gets an all inclusive vacation to the newly developed Tulane University Trailer Park!!! Congratulations Mr. Wagner and thank you for playing.
The Silver Medal goes to Brian Danford with a score of 9, only two points off of the leave. Brian receives a CD of my choice from a band that he likes, but since I won the quiz that he posted, I'm going to go ahead and give that CD to me. Thanks Mr. Danford, I love the Broken Social Scene.
And finally, with an astounding 11 points, the clear winner in this contest: Aimee Custis!!! Aimee wins the grand prize of A BRAND NEW STEVEN YAMADA. Included with this amazing prize are such features as Shenanigans, Pretentiousness, and a lifetime subscription to my live journal. Woot.
A big round of applause for all of our contestants tonight (except for Del who didn't get any point). I'd like to thank all of our sponsers and all of our viewers at home. Goodnight. |
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| Hey You Fucking Towelhead... |
[Dec. 25th, 2005|12:55 pm] |
Merry Christmas!!!
Mass was terrible last night. We actually left early. How bad is that?
Anywho, I got evertyhing I asked for. That and like a new wardrobe. No more homelessness for dis pimp. Word.
Anyways, I'll see some of you tonight. For the rest of y'all, I'll see you in a couple of weeks. |
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| The Steve Yamada Quiz!!! (Ver. 1.0) |
[Dec. 21st, 2005|08:38 pm] |
I was B-O-R-E-D, so I decided to make a Steve Yamada trivia game. Whoever gets the most number of points wins a special prize, which may actually be nothing at all, but won't we all have fun anyways?!?!
1)Name 3 places where I have lived (1 point each).
2)What are the ingredients in a Prison Bitch (2 points)?
3)Name a club/team I was president of my Sr. Year of High School (1 point each).
4)Name a job I've had (1 point each).
5)What song best describes my second longest relationship with Ms. Erika (1 point)?
6)What may I have been called if I had become a Delt (2 points)?
7)At what concert did I first hang out with the likes of Brad, Jason, and Scott (1 point)?
8)After that concert what did we drink and smoke down by the mighty Miss. (1 point each)?
9)How much does it cost to get into Audobon Zoo (1 point)?
10)When do they stop selling beer on Sunday in Virginia (1 point)?
11)How many drinks did I have at the Delt's Around the World Party (1 point)?
12)What is my favorite resaurant in NOLA (2 points)?
13)What superlative was I nominated for in high school (1 point)?
14)What did I wear to my first Mardi Gras Day parade (1 point)?
15)What is my favorite Mardi Gras parade (1 point)?
16)What is my favorite bar (1 point)?
17)What are my 3 favorite songs (1 point each)?
18)What's in a Thunder Turkey (2 points)?
19)What flavors of MD20/20 have I had (3 possible points)?
20)The first time I played Edward Forty Hands, what where the brands (1 point each)?
21)What did I want to be when I was a kid (2 points)?
22)What's my favorite drink (1 point)?
23)Who's my favorite bartender (1 point)?
24)What's my favorite hookah flavor (2 points)?
25)What's my favorite holiday (1 point)?
26)What's my favorite poker hand (1 point)?
27)Who is what in the tattoo that I want to get with Jason, Brad, and Scott (5 points, must have whole answer)?
28)What type of wine did I get on my 19th B-day (3 points)?
29)Who have I known the longest of people from Tulane (2 points)?
30)What's my favorite beer (1 point)?
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Answer questions in the comment section. The first person to post gets the points. |
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| Still Technically Not Dec. 1 |
[Nov. 30th, 2005|11:44 pm] |
The first time that I ever saw the city of New Orleans was in the Fall of 2002. I was a senior in high school who had just received a large scholarship to a school called Tulane University, which up untill that year, I had never even heard of. I remember the twelve hour car trip with my mother and father, I remember how strange the highway seemed in this part of the country, I remember thinking how this place must be the furthest I'd ever been from Charlotte, North Carolina, and I remember thinking to myself that this was exactly what I was looking for.
We took the wrong exit off of Highway 10 and ended up about ten blocks north of the Decatur St. How were we supposed to know the difference between the French Quarter and the Garden District? Regardless, we decided to grab a bite to eat. My first meal in the Big Easy was non other then Beignets from Cafe du Monde. Sitting there, hands getting sticky, with all the colors and noise of Jackson Square, I fell in love.
At that point it didn't matter about the programs or the campus or anything else. I knew that I would be going to Tulane in the Fall.
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The concept of Truth is in and of itself a quandry. A child could give you a deffinition, but after twenty years I still struggle to grasp its meaning.
As a recent high school graduate, I had held several Truths to be apparent: that I would go to college, get a degree in Engineering, graduate, get a job, and make lots of money. Why Engineering? Well, I was good at math and science in high school and...I guess that was it.
I thought that this was what I needed to do to be successful, that it was what I was supposed to do with my life. In Truth, I had no real desire to become an Engineer. I wanted to be a writer or a journalist. The one true passion that I had in my life was music, but you couldn't make money with music if you can't play an instrument, and I'm not especially inclined musically.
So, I went to college and for the most part was unhappy and unsuccessful. I struggled for the first time in my life with school work. I started having trouble sleeping and everything just built up and up untill finally it all just collapsed.
I found myself months later, a college dropout working in the Quarter. I had stopped talking to my parents and my friends. And I began to basically ignore life.
That is untill I was mugged.
I woke up in an alley. There was blood and my head hurt like hell. I couldn't make rent that month. I fell behind and I started to spend a lot more time thinking about where I was and how I had ended up here.
It took me several more weeks to catch up and to even begin getting my life back together. I moved back to Charlotte to fix my relationship with my parents.
When Katrina hit in August, I was in the process of moving back to New Orleans. I had several goals in mind. Get a good job, a nice place, save money, get back to college. I lost some stuff, but it wasn't the biggest loss that I felt, because for several days I thought I would lose something much more important than that.
I thought that I would lose New Orleans.
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I've learned several things through all of this. One, there is no set path to follow. You have to be prepared for change, but more importantly, you have to be prepared to strive, and two, you have to be passionate and you have to care. I'm ready to begin caring about my life and about what I do, something I wasn't ready for several years back.
I was your standard everyday know it all kid; fresh out of high school and with limitless opportunity. It wasn't that I was dumb, then. Just naive. In my mind I thought that opportunity was something that I deserved and something that I couldn't lose. And then I lost it. Now I'm trying my best to get it back, because I know, that given the opportunity, I will succeed.
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I had major reserves about posting this. It's my admissions essay for Loyola University. I like it for the most part. The beginning mostly. Maybe I'm putting eggs in a basket or setting myself up to fall. Del doesn't think I care about this because I put it off for so long. But I put it off so long because I'm afraid. I don't want to get rejected. God, I know it's a long shot, but it's what I want. I just don't want to have to deal with the rejection. I wouldn't know what to do... |
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